The Real Ralph Morgan
by Frek
Summary: A Parody from your friends in the Kettering Ohio Fairmont Marching Firebirds.


*I did not write this song, it was written by my friends Brendan M. and Jonathan G.* 

The Real Ralph Morgan 

Will The Real Ralph Morgan please mark Time, 

I Repeat, will the real Ralph Morgan Please mark Time. 

I think we're gonna have a problem here 

(Verse 1) 

Ya'll act like you've never seen a fat person before. 

Drawers all on the floor like Josh and Lee Dixon just burst through the door, 

Call a freshman a whore rollin; him over furniture 

its the return of the uh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just do, 

what I thought he did...did he? 

and Adam Green says, nothing you idiots, Adam Green's dead he's locked 

in my basement! 

Flutist women hate Ralph The Goat. Baa baa Ralph Morgan I'm sicka him 

look at him stopmin around holding his you know what (alto sax) 

flipping to you know who (Jen-Of arc) yeah, he's so fat though 

Ok, so maybe I have a few buttons down in my pants loose, but no worse 

than what's going on in Berning's bedroom 

sometimes I get pissed at Berning and wanna let loose, but I can but 

its cool for Kevin Lewis to invoke verbal abuse 

Hes getting Berning pissed, he's getting Berning pissed, and if he's 

unlucky he might give him a little kick, and that's the message we 

deliver to Berning's kids and expect them not to know that they aren't really 

his 

of course they gonna know what intercourse is, by the time they reach 

1st grade, 

they watch their mom don't they? 

we ain't nothing but bands students, 

well some of us Sousaphone players, band's pro BS sayers. 

(chorus) 

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan 

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating 

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up 

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan 

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating 

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up 

(Verse 2) 

Berning's hemorrhoids are a real band camp wrecker 

Martha Stewart is too, so get some cream and use one stone to kill two 

half the time he cant mange me, led alone stand me 

But we're goats we gloat does that make us wierd 

No its just why Berning want us the Hell outta here 

Im not leavin but Berning while you're up can we share your beer 

So I can get a beer belly and be feared 

You and Snead arguing bout what sounds the worst 

Then make us practice till we come in 1st 

"Run it back once more I think its gonna be better" 

We should spend the whole year at F A I R M O N T 

Or we could go to Fairborn and get TB (Tee He) 

I'm sick of the gay tenors 

all they do is annoy me 

so I have been sent here to destroy you 

and there's a million of us just like me 

who play sax like me who cant stand straight like me 

who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me 

and just might be the next best thing, but not quite 

me................. 

(Chorus) 

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan 

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating 

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up 

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan 

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating 

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up 

(Verse 3) 

I'm like a head trip to listen to 

Cuz I have been known to 

Play the alto sax and make it sound like impending doom 

The only difference is Im tone death when I play it 

in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all 

I just put my lips on the damn thing and rip it 

and whether you like to admit it (riiip) 

I just pissed off 90% of the band director's lovers 

Underneath the covers 

One and only Ralph Morgan lover. 

It's funny, cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty 

I'll be the only person at Fairmont flirting 

pinchin teachers asses when I'm tryin hard and working 

and I'm learnin but this whole stack of cheat sheets isn't working 

in every single person there's a Ralph Morgan lurkin 

he could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings 

or in the parking lot, circling, makin his alto sound like a truck 

with his windows down and his system up 

so will the real Ralph please stand up 

and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up 

and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control 

and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? ................. 

(Chorus) 

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan 

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating 

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up 

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan 

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating 

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set up turn his IQ up 

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan 

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating 

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set up turn his IQ up 

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan 

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating 

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set up turn his IQ up 

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan 

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating 

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set up turn his IQ up 

(Talking) 

haha guess there's a Ralph Morgan in all of us........ Silly Winkis 

Tricks are for Brendon Now Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha 

-end- 

*Okay, now some of this needs some explaining, obviously Brendon and Jonathan are both alto saxes, and are both out of their minds. Brendon's nickname is Ralph Morgan, or Ralph the Goat, and is a big guy, not to mention that one of his other nicknames is Surley. Adam Green is the alto sax section leader and kind of an jerk, but they seem to like him. Winkis would be this little sophomore, who's pretty much the tag-a-long of Brendon's pack, and for your sake I won't even explain the "tricks are for brendon now joke." And, Berning would be our wonderful Director. 

P.S.-Blow It Hard Clarinets!* 


End file.
